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Endurance  Does anyone still read this? This quarter is god-awful insanity. Well, maybe not god-awful, but probably the next level of intensity for me. To summarize what has been going on: --Crew per usual. 6AM practices everyday plus the usual Fall practices. This actually isn't too bad; I think my body has finally adjusted to the schedule, or maybe it's just I'm consistently getting to bed at a decent hour (for once). --Treasurer for crew. I'm handling tens of thousands of dollars, and collecting money, and managing deadlines. It wouldn't be so bad except this year the Sports Club department decided I can't write checks anymore--I guess in an effort to have more control over the sports clubs on campus. This makes my life harder, because now I have to go through the gorram bureaucracy to get my business done--YAY. --Treasurer for Microbiology Club. Not as a big of an account, and not nearly as busy, but it's still another responsibility. The biggest thing is that I have to plan a big trip for the Spring, meaning coming up with fundraisers and hounding people about giving me dues. --MCB 120L: Biochemistry Lab of DEATH. This is a fun little 6 (yes, six) unit course that has 3 one hour lectures a week with 2 five hour labs. Did I mention 2 five hour labs? Did I also mention that I'm constantly behind, that almost everyone in the class is behind, that the professor is batshit crazy and isn't clear about anything, that my lab instructor is the female version of Mr. Hardin (for the AHS kids)? When it's all said and done, this will be the most useful class I take here--many biotech jobs look for these kind of courses. But this class--this class is probably 75% the source of my daily stress value. Just today I told my lab partner that I was going to kill myself--without any hint that I was kidding. What's not helping: --I'm actually injured right now, so I've been watching people workout, watching people improve, watching people get ahead of me...while I waste away. A couple of days ago it occurred to me that I might be mildly depressed--just by the fact that I haven't had any intense exercise in almost three months. Endorphin withdrawal or something. --I haven't gotten the courage to ask this girl out. Incidentally, she's in my biochem lab. Incidentally, there's no way in hell I would have time to do the deed while in lab. Incidentally, I can't come up with a way to say it and not be weird about it. --It's 10:46PM, and I have to be up by 5:00AM. And it's only Wednesday. I'm getting as bad as Lucio, or anyone for that matter. So I'm procrastinating. A lot. I've fallen back into this carefree mindset I had freshmen year where I basically don't give a shit about exams, class, or school in general. Summer is so close, it just seems like such a waste to not do what I want. So what have I been doing? I've been playing a lot of Zombie Master. I won't get into it much, but it's this Half Life 2 mod that, quite literally, might be the best zombie game ever made. Just ask BJ, who I'm sure is as hooked as I am. Crew ended about a month ago, which probably contributed to my decline into this comfortable sloth. God I love it. But god, is nothing productive happening. I'm really on the fence about crew. In a nutshell, last season was extremely disappointing. I worked my ass off and got...nowhere. Well, I wouldn't say that, but I didn't improve as much as I hoped. And it's put me into this weird questioning funk about where to allocate my time for next year. Either way, I feel like I lose something. I know I'll miss it, but, at the same time, I know I'm missing out on other things in life. Ambiguous? Yeah, but I don't feel getting into it. This Starbucks Frappuccino is really making me scatterbrained, much like this entry. I feel like there's so many bases to cover cause it's been such a long time. Makes me wonder though...why do I feel the need to catalog my life like this? Lucio was talking about working on his short story and it got me excited about writing. I need to do this more. Lucio, you hold me to updating at least once a week, and I'll hold you to your progress on the short story. LETS MAKE IT HAPPEN. OK, back to Hypersensitivity. Trav, you get allergies cause your body's immune system hates you, basically. Wonder if I'll get an A for that. My first race is in a week. I'm pretty flippin excited, if you must know. A lot more than last year, mostly cause I didn't know what to expect as a novice. This year though...it's a whole nother animal. I feel a lot stronger, a lot faster, a lot more...ready? All I want to do is destroy the other boats. I'm not really afraid either. I'm not really afraid to absolutely tear myself apart for that goal. "On this team, we tear ourselves, and everyone around us to pieces for that inch." I guess it might sound a bit intimidating, or weird. I am weird. I was at a basketball game tonight with my roommate, and I considered leaving to go erg a little bit at the gym, even though I was supposed to rest after 11 straight days of rowing my ass off. I feel like it's engrained in me, this rowing business. Engrained like a healthy heroine addiction. Anyways. Excited. I have a new uniform now, it kinda looks like a wrestler uni suit, except not really. I think I look pretty sharp. Sexy, some may say. I've become re-excited about Naruto. The new anime is out (Shuppiden or something), and it's been pretty good so far. A lot better than filler, if anything. O, and what's this? The latest scanslation manga chapter ends with Sasuke intending to kill Orichmaru. O SNAP. I've also become re-excited about Smash Bros. I went to a tournament a couple nights ago with a $5 buy in. I lost to a pretty good Falco player though. He beat me once, I beat him once, then I made too many mistakes in the 3rd round and bit the dust. It's disappointing, but it makes me REALLY anxious for Brawl. I swear to god I'm going pro for that one. School has been pretty ok. Not too stressful, no all night study sessions or crap like that. I'm learning a lot in my lab internship, having started my very first project in gene cloning. It's actually really interesting, a lot more fun than cleaning glassware and doing other lab chores. I went to a career fair last Thursday and handed out a gazillion resumes, along with applying to about 10 seperate internship programs for the summer. We'll see how that turns out. Alot is happening, I guess. Things are accelerating in a more comfortable direction. Life is becoming more clear. And I'm growing. Everything around me is growing. I miss running. It's something I've realized for a while now, but it's becoming more clear as crew continues. I'm a skinny guy. Nothing can really fundamentally change that, no matter how much I lift or eat (I do eat a lot now). So, while bigger or even "average" sized guys surpass me, I don't really feel that bad, because I try hard and work with what I have. I'm actually, right now on the varsity squad, one of the weakest in terms of times on the erg. Bigger guys just naturally have more power. I guess what I'm getting at is, I stick with crew for a number of reasons. It keeps me extraordinarily fit, it's very team oriented, traveling is fun, the racing is intense...it's something big and important that carrys a lot of pride and good habits for me, and I stick with it even if I'm not that good. Which makes me miss running. I'm built for it. It's what I've grown up with, and I've always wanted to go back to it. The problem is though, I get injured whenever I start putting on more miles. In the conventional sense, I couldn't switch over to competitive running and do the same workouts the Davis runners do here. Rowing, though. Right now, I am in the best shape of my life, all across the board. I'm pretty confident I could beat any running record I set in high school, provided I do a little running to get myself used to that form of exercise again. I know this, because I ran a 5K back in November (with no running training whatsoever) and beat my personal record by a full minute (this course had hills too). I have big dreams right now. I want to see if I can make it in the big leagues of the running world (specifially track) by using rowing as a cross-training supplement (since my body can't handle excessive mileage). I really think, genetically, I'm very capable of doing this, and I also think rowing is an excellent tool for me to become a very good runner. What I really want to do is test myself in various distances again. How fast I can run the mile, the 800, etc. Problem is, crew literally keeps me fatigued all week, every week. Which is good. I guess what I'm saying is, once this season is over, I'm gonna see how fast I am. I really think I'm gonna surprise myself. Andddd this is a really boring entry. But I had to get this out there. Current music: Creedence Clearwater Revival - Have You Ever Seen The Rain. SO. I was sick this whole week. Definitely knew something was wrong last Monday, and by Tuesday, after some blood work, I was told I had influenza. Which I guess is pretty much the flu, except it lasts 7-10 days. It was definitely not something I could just cope with while keeping my schedule. I couldn't go to practice. Barely could go to class. I was tired all the time, had a fever, sore throat, coughed, sneezed, even felt a little nausea. I don't think I've ever been this sick, except maybe when I was little. Gah. I'm so out of shape now. I literally layed around all week doing almost nothing except some occasional homework. Fortunately, I don't feel too behind in school. But I'm gonna have a lot of catching up to do in the coming weeks for crew, muscle-wise escpecially. I think my lack of eating this week has caused my body to metabolize some of the mass I was getting...or something. Guess that's it. I still don't feel 100%, so I'll rant some more if I'm not getting better. So much has already happened in 2007. It feels like I've glimpsed upon every facet of life, and it's only been two days. And I'm not sure what word to characterize this feeling with. Maybe wonder? Time is a tricky process, but I've never felt it with this much reality in such a short time. Is this what happens when life isn't so busy?
Stolen from Danny Hom's profile on Myspace. Yeah, I know, random. Merry Christmas to everyone. WELL. I'm almost done with finals. My two harder ones were a couple days ago, in the same day. That was kinda harsh. But it's over. I'M DONE WITH CHEMISTRY FOREVER. It'll crop up here and there in my Bio classes, but I'm officially done with any formal chemistry classes (o-chem in particular). Soooo...goodbye NMR. Goodbye mechanisms. Goodbye synthesis, reaction, and nomeclature problems. Goodbye three hour labs. Goodbye shitty chem professors. GOODBYE THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE. It's like I woke up from a bad dream. The past couple of days have been nice. I have one more "final" left, which isn't really a final so much as a quiz. And that's at 7pm Thursday so...wait for studying until tommorrow? Sounds like a plan. I slept in today. That was a weird feeling. I actually felt a bit fatigued/stiff from too much sleep (that happens right?). My back was kinda hurting too. I think I need a bigger bed. I wouldn't mind just bringing my bed in Alameda here. Everytime I sleep in it I simply have the best night's sleep ever. And I'm not sure if it's because it's bigger, or cause I've been sleeping in it for most of my life and it's what I'm used to. Maybe a bit of both? Today the Sports Club admin for UC Davis (the guys who are technically in charge of our team cause we're technically a sports club) told us we couldn't workout on OUR OWN indoor rowing machines because "practice" has already officially ended for UC Davis sports clubs. ... I just don't get this logic. Why exactly is it wrong for us to keep practicing? I know this happens alot to other sport functions--there is a certain time slot in which a team representing a school can practice (sometime after the quarter starts and sometime before it ends). But why is that? Why is it that a team can only work to improve itself only when the fucking management of the high-and-mighty sports club adminstration says we can? It really irks me, not only because it makes no sense, but I don't like being told that I can't workout. It's like denying me food. I NEED IT. I'm gonna steal Michele's/Roger's quiz thing. Then I'm gonna go run some steam off. Appearance: I am shorter than 5'4": No I have many scars: Yeah, on my legs I tan easily: Sorta, not really I wish my hair was a different color: No I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color: It's always been brown I've had/have braces: Yeah, twice I wear glasses or contacts: No I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger: Yeah I have 5 or more piercings: Nope I have/had piercings in places besides my ears: Nope I have freckles: Scattered here and there School/Work: I'm in school: Yea I have a job: Not now I've fallen asleep at work or school: O yeah I almost always do my homework: If it's worth points I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years: Is that 3.0 or higher? I failed more than 1 class last year: Heck no I've been fired: Nope Embarrassment: Disney movies still make me cry: Still? I've laughed so hard I've cried: Yup I've glued my hand to something: Maybe to my own fingers I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose: Yes I've had my pants rip/drop in public: Hmmm...yes, I think I was born with a disease/impairment: I'm impaired with AWESOME I've sat in a doctors office with a friend: Yup I've had my wisdom teeth removed: Yeah, that was trippy I've had a serious surgery: Nope I've had chicken pox: Yes Experiences I've gotten lost in my city: Does Bay Farm count? I've seen a shooting star: Plenty I've wished on a shooting star: Yup I've gone out in public in my pajamas: I do it alot, actually I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator: Probably I've been to a casino: Yes I've been skydiving: No I've played spin the bottle: Yes I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour: No, but I might try some day I've been in a car crash: O yeah I've caught a snowflake on my tongue: No I've sat on a roof top at night: Yup I've played chicken: Umm...with a car? I've played a prank on someone: Sure I've ridden in a taxi: Yes I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show: Nope I've eaten Sushi: Yes I've been skiing: Yup. Relationships: I'm married: No I miss someone right now: Mmm...not really I've gotten divorced: No I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back: Yeah I've told someone I loved them when I didn't: Heck no I've told someone I didn't love them when I did: Don't think so I've kept something from a past relationship: Yeah I've had a crush on a teacher: Not really...I thought Ms. Bellinger was hot. Ha. I am a cuddler: Yeah I've been kissed in the rain: No I've hugged a stranger: Yes Random: I own over 5 rap CDs: I own zero I own something from Hot Topic: Maybe that pirate shirt I got a long time ago I own something from Pac Sun: Whats Pac Sun? I own something from The Gap: No I own something I got on e-bay: No I own something from Abercrombie: No.. I can sing well: No I open up to others easily: HA. Nope. I watch the news: Sometimes, I usually get news on the internet I don't kill bugs: Yeah, I try to get them outside I sing in the shower: My brother completely ruined that for me I am a morning person: I am now! I am a sports fanatic: Not really. I do like competing, but I don't think running and rowing counts? I've copied more than 30 CD's in a day: Maybe, I did copy a whole lot of Naruto anime in one day My favorite color is either white, green, pink, red or blue: Yeah, blue I sometimes wear pajamas to school: No. I know how to shoot a gun: Nope I laugh at my own jokes: It's hard to keep a straight face when you're this hilarious I am really ticklish: Somewhat I bite my nails: Nope I play video games: O yeah I'm good at remembering faces: Yes I'm good at remembering names: Not really I'm good at remembering dates: Somewhat I had a heart-to-heart chat with my Microbio professor about the future. It came about when I asked him if he would write me a letter of recommendation so I could use it when applying for summer internships in the spring. We talked about various things; whether to go for a PhD. or not, and if so, the possibility of taking a couple years off beforehand; whether to work in industry or academia once done with college; what being a researcher is like; what being a teacher is like; what employers look for. We probably talked a good half hour about all of that. What an insightful guy. He has a sarcastically upbeat personality about him...it kinda of reminds me of myself actually. He makes a lot of bizarre (but funny) remarks here and there, and, suprisingly, has interets I would never have guessed. (his favorite anime is "Totoro"). In end, after talking with him, I've decided that once I get my feet wet in the class internship I have on campus for next quarter, I'm gonna go for a company internship and really see what Microbiology research is like in private industry (bioengineering companies, pharma, and the like). If I like it, once I graduate with a couple solid years of real lab work under my belt, I'll take a couple years off and support myself in an unrelated job that'll give me freedom to see more of the world (my prof was a flight attendant before becoming a teacher and got to travel that way). After that, if I liked the work I did in the company I interned for, I might go for a PhD. and really make the big bucks there. It's a general, work-in-progress plan. There's a lot that can happen. Maybe I won't particularly like lab life; so far it's ok with the intro lab I'm taking, and I think it'll get better once I start doing more important things (working with deadly diseases i.e. HIV, avian flu, etc. would be an exciting goal). But who knows. I know for sure science is the field I want to be in. Microbiology is interesting enough, practical even with today's latest deadly bacteria and viruses. That's something I could see myself tackling. It's kinda surreal though. This is years and years down the road. I usually have a hard enough time with the present. Maybe that kid's painting up in what used to be South Shore Center is my future. Remember Trav? MY FUTURE. School is kicking my ass. I try to fight back, but every so often I'm thrown a cheap shot to the groin and have to sit down for a while. How the fuck do you get 100% on the first two quizzes of a Physics class, and then turn around and absolutely fail the next two? I'm gonna raise my hand on that one, but damned if I can give you a reasonable explanation about how it happened. I had to seriously sit outside for about ten minutes after I turned it in. !#@$^*^%&@@$$. Then I pulled myself together and put the gloves back on. Because throwing in the towel isn't an option. If there was an ultimate rare ring that required +9999999 to stress points, I could wear ten on each finger. ... What the fuck am I talking about? I have a Microbio paper due at 6. It's noon. I have time, but I also have a Biochem midterm tommorrow, which is metaphorically twice as big as any given Physics quiz. I should probably bring a switchblade. |
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